Implementing change is a common notion for the New Year. Resolutions or better commitments are made to hopefully improve the upcoming year. Statistics show that over half of the commitments made at the beginning of the year are dropped or broken within the first six months. So how can we make resolutions that will accomplish the changes we need? Les Brown says, “We may not accomplish every goal we set – no one does – but what really matters is having goals and going after them wholeheartedly.” In other words, be willing and ready to fail with the mindset of getting back up to try again no matter what.
3 Resolution Tips for Success
1. Know Why – I once had a co-worker that did things only because everyone else seemed to be successful at it. He didn’t care if it fit him or not he just did it because it worked for the other person. Our resolutions should be made on what we value and really desire.
Decide what you really want to achieve and write it down. Don't be too concerned about what others want for you, if it is not in your focus for bettering you. Make goals for yourself. Try to be specific and realistic about what you want to achieve. "I want a new job," is an open-ended dream compared to, "I want to work at FedEx on the south side of Memphis as a manager." The more you can narrow down your goals with details of the passions within you, increases your chance for successfully achieving your goals.
2. Know When – Often times I have set goals at the beginning of the year but had not really set a deadline when I wanted to reach my goals. This mind set caused many of my goals to be lost and forgotten due to just burn out and just everyday life.
Put a time limit on your goals. Sometimes to do this requires you to break up large goals into smaller ones that you can manage and gauge the progress. For example, if you're a freshmen in college, don't make your goal to graduate this spring. Your goal requires four years or more of consistent work. You present goal should be to get an “A” on the assignment you currently have; then to pass the class and so on and so forth. Consider the requirements needed to accomplish what you've set out to do and make your goals realistically connect.
3. Know Action – Many great plans never get acted upon. We might know “why we should do it” and “when we should do it”. But acting on our plan today and the days that follow require long term diligence. Zig Ziglar said this about action, “Setting goals helps bring your future into your present and the present is the only time we can take action.” Make everyday a day of action on the plan.
If you really want to accomplish your specific goals, review them daily. Set a regular time to evaluate. (e.g. Getting up in the morning, first fifteen minutes in the office, and/or before going to bed at night.) Don’t be afraid to tweak and refine your goals as you act upon them.
Summary – If you are making resolutions for the New Year and want to be successful, keep in mind - why the change is needed, when the change is best, and continuing acting out the desired change. Someone once said, “People with clear written goals accomplish more in a shorter period of time than people without them can ever imagine.” Go reach your goals today!
How strong are you about YOU? Your confidence for yourself comes from within and is reflected in how you dress, how do you walk, and how do you sit. These areas affect the way you and others feel about you. If you build these areas and operate according to the rules, they can boost you confidence and help you be more effective.
3 Confidence Boosters
1. Appearance – A lot of times how we dress and look is vital to just getting in the door. Sad to say it, but we do judge people according to their appearance. Our appearance speaks volumes about who we are and what we stand for. This is why we should be mindful of how we look and what our body language is saying.
In college, I remember dressing up like someone important and getting the different questions and comments as if I was someone important. Just getting a question or comment pumped me up. (I would say, "Wow, I could pass for a professor!" or "They could see me being in that profession just because I appeared to be." To building confidence in the way you look decide what you want type of image you want to be known by to the world. Start, resembling what you desire. That style should reflect confidence and self pride to others not just you and your peers.
Do keep in mind that true confidence should come from building good character within first (because you work to make that image a reality) and then should be reflected outwardly among the public.
2. Stride – Believe it our not how we walk shows how we feel about who we are. Is our walk slow, tired, or painful? Is it spirited, energetic and purposeful? Whichever one we show we attract a level of expectancy from others. In other words, other people tend to expect what you present. In the wild, when something walks as if it was dying vultures and other carnivores start to come around expecting an easy meal. When we walk disconnected and confused about our purpose, we can easily miss opportunities that we desire and need.
Make every effort to walk with confidence and purpose. Pick up your pace as if you have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Confidence is gained by choosing to be an important person (because you are) and walking as if so. Then others should start responding to you as important because you make each step full of confidence.
3. Posture – Our greatest possession is our bodies. We use it every day to accomplish tasks and duties. How we carry ourselves is known as our posture. It tells a story about our level of confidence. If we sit or stand with slumped shoulders and move lethargically, we can be viewed as a person with low self confidence.
Prep up your posture by standing up straight with your head up. When you look at people to speak make eye contact, shake their hand firmly. A good posture lets others know you are interested and respect who they are. Respectful posture is being alert and attentive to situations all around. Always look for ways to be involved and helpful to the people in your world.
Summary - Your confidence level can be boosted by presenting an appearance that is positive for your direction in life, walking as if you have purpose, and standing with meaning for being. You can change your success level by boosting who you are.
It is hard to have respect for someone that you have issues with. But to allow those problems to not be resolved is leaving a mess that will fester and grow. Where do our conflicts go that we don’t like addressing? Unresolved messes, produces more messes and new messes attach to old messes. So how do we clean up a messy situation that is loaded with people that we don’t respect?
3 Tips to Respectful Cleaning
1. Inward View – I had a car that I would spend hours washing and making shine. It looked good! But on the inside there were some internal issues that were causing the transmission to slip a little. I continued to drive the car as long as it would go, hoping that it could hold out. Eventually the little problem became a big problem and the car could not move. The entire transmission had to be replaced. It was beyond repair. If I had addressed the problem sooner I might have been able to save the extra expense.
In life surface cleaning can be easy. The effort being put in can make things look very good externally but internally things can be slipping and messing up. One way you can see internal slippage is when you see your respect for others drop. If you see yourself disrespecting others you probably have some disrespectful issues on the inside. Take some time to analyze how you respond with others. Work on improving your internal respect for others by having clean positive motives.
2. Short List – I was talking with someone recently who was pushing me to a point of anger and resentment. My respect for them at the time was very low. As the conversation progressed, I felt like I was not being heard and needed to express myself. In expressing my feelings I found myself bringing up old hurts to the present issue. I was not respecting the other person. I was dumping and blaming when I needed to be addressing the current issue only with past experiences being used as a point of reference.
When you are dealing with hurtful things, it is good to have a short list of past hurts for yourself and others. The past viewed negatively can easily bring a need to be dis-respectful. Work to allow the initial feelings of past hurts and resentments to be erased so that you are able to be effective in handling current issues.
3. Add Chemicals – In the kitchen I have noticed that some old messes on the stove require more than elbow grease to remove, they need an additional cleaning agent to help break down the hard messes.
In life there are some hard messes that have been around for a while and are stuck real hard. The chemical of respect is probably far from thought when in the heat of the moment, but if allowed to penetrate it can break a lot of issues down. True respect is not be based on what others do or say; it is based on what you value. Allow your values to affirm what you think, say and do with your hard messes.
Summary - To deal with mess that is loaded with people you don't respect, you must first start with yourself. You are the only person you can change. When self healing starts, self-respect is boosted and in turn respect for others is valued. Increase your respect by searching within yourself, keeping a short list of past messes, and adding the chemical of respect. Allow the present to be a gift that you cherish. Each day is an opportunity be a better person.
Deep within us all there is something called SELF. Yes, it’s that area where our real emotions exist. We typically like to avoid this area because it's where the hard questions and issues lie. This area of our lives defines what kind of future we will have. Dr. Donna Hicks says that our “SELF” craves this thing called DIGNITY but often we ignoring it. So what is this dignity thing and what will it do for me? Dignity is the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. Being treated with dignity means to be treated like someone special or valued (We like that!) To show dignity means to give others respect as if someone special or valued. (We question that?)
3 Ways to dig deeper for DIGNITY in your life.
1. Acceptance – Let's face it no one is just like you. Even if you are a twin there are different views that you will have because you have a different set of eyes. Everyone has their own uniqueness and because of that, no one will meet your exact standards.
To show dignity (respect) to others, approach people as being neither inferior nor superior to you. Accept others authentic selves without being critical of their differences. It is good to also assume that others have integrity first before putting them in the criminal category. This is what you give to others because it is what you desire from others.
2. Inclusion – This is a tough one especially when there is a possibility of having an enemy on your side. But it is a chance to take to increase dignity in your life. Work to make others feel apart of what's going on. I recall playing basketball and being the last to be picked but when the team captain chose me to be on his team I was excited and empowered with esteem and worth (dignity). I also had an increased desire to do my best to not let the captain down.
Increase your dignity by giving dignity to others. Go after qualities that will bring a positive outcome and promote a betterment of you and those around you. Learn to improve yourself daily by including others.
3. Understand – Steven Covey says we should, "seek to understand before we seek to be understood". This is a point of dignity (respect). The simple act of recognizing someone else for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness, and/or help is priceless. It cost nothing to be generous with a little praise for another's contributions and ideas, even if you don't use them you valued them as a person and as a part of the team.
Work to treat others justly, without discrimination. Believe that others thoughts matter by giving them a chance to explain and express their points of view. At that point be willing to actively listen in order to understand. That is showing true respect to others which will come back to you.
Summary - Learn how to increase your dignity (respect) by determining what you value and showing it to others first. If you want to be accepted. then accept others; if you want to be included, then included others; and if you like to be understood then work to understand others. Dignity is only increased in your life when given first.