When we get hurt by others it is real. It is an actually part of our memory, our history, and our life. To move forward in our lives we must immediately start to work on forgiveness. Forgiveness is not based on the other person apologizing or recognizing their wrong (although that helps). It starts with us wanting to move on.
A first step to moving forward is deciding to stay in the present. Staying in the present means to keep the original wound out of sight or out of our present minds. It's not acting as if it's not true. It is acknowledging what has happened, but it is not bring the hurt back to life as if it just happen. Bring hurt "back to life" causes us to feel the same associated feelings all over again. We must balance the bad memory with the forgiven memory and allow forgiveness to grow.
I heard a story of a bell that was connected to how forgiveness works. A bell that is connected to a rope is pulled to ring the bell. As long as the rope is pulled the bell rings. When the rope is let go the bell continues to ring for a while but the tone gets lighter and lighter with each passing moment. Forgiveness is letting the bell rope go. After letting go, your emotions will continue to hear the ringing of the bell (the hurt) but eventually the ringing subsides and stops. Lack of forgiveness is continuing to pull the rope consciously and unconsciously.
Make your mind up to no longer allow that incident to prevent the growth of your life by letting the rope go and never picking it up again. Gandhi said it this way, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Be strong!
A few days ago, I wanted to give my children a provoking thought for a trip they were about to take. I shared with them the "necessity of making wise choices". I went on to say, "There are two very similar things that will either bless you or haunt you and more importantly they won't forgive you for what you have done. They are your History and your Harvest."
History - Each day your choices make history. Some you may regret and others you many embrace but either way you are setting a history that's unchangeable. Learn to embrace the moments you experience. Improve self and the places where you might have faltered. Work to make you history based on a principle centered life.
Harvest - "You reap what you sow". Reaping means that there is a consequence for everything you do and say. They may not be seen right away but in time they will mature and be seen. Work to say and do things that are constructive, ethical and moral. Plant seeds that you can be proud of. Make every action count to be better than who you were yesterday.
_Saint Bridget says, “We become that which we love”. I like to say that we become what we pursue. We pursue money, jobs, cars, homes, friends, spouses, toys, gadgets and the list goes on. If we are not careful, our pursuits can drive us instead of us driving them.
Our pursuits are sometimes quickly defined by our associations which tell us that we must pursue the “good life”. What is the "good life"? Often times the "good life" is an image that floats somewhere in our heads as a place of total happiness and no struggle. Contrary to popular belief, a "good life" is not found in the things we possess. In fact, the more we posses, the more we can be easily distracted from the things that bring true fulfillment.
Don't allow your life to be distracted and defined by possessions. Pursue things of lasting value and long term significance. Pursue inner beauty, solid integrity, sincere love, honest justice, and opportunities to help someone else be better. Purse things of great value and allow them to define your life. Aggressively pursue your values!
Alarm clocks are often set to signal the need for action. We often set alarms to help us remember our goals and stay on track. Alarms set for success require foresight and planning based on the goal desired.
No mater how great the reason for an alarm, if you are like me, they seem to go off at the most inopportune times. They alter my flow and comfort which leads me to want to ignore them. But if I leave my feelings out of the equation and focus on my goals, I must respond properly to the reasons for the alarms if I desire true success.
In life you need set alarms to signal certain changes and directions to take. Seek out what life alarms you need to acheive your success. Once set don't ignore their agitation. Allow them to remind you to push towards your purpose and goals. Set your "Life Alarm" for greatness!