THE OTHER SIDE OF HURT

When we get hurt by others it is real. It is an actually part of our memory, our history, and our life. To move forward in our lives we must immediately start to work on forgiveness. Forgiveness is not based on the other person apologizing or recognizing their wrong (although that helps). It starts with us wanting to move on.

A first step to moving forward is deciding to stay in the present. Staying in the present means to keep the original wound out of sight or out of our present minds. It's not acting as if it's not true. It is acknowledging what has happened, but it is not bring the hurt back to life as if it just happen. Bring hurt "back to life" causes us to feel the same associated feelings all over again. We must balance the bad memory with the forgiven memory and allow forgiveness to grow.

I heard a story of a bell that was connected to how forgiveness works. A bell that is connected to a rope is pulled to ring the bell. As long as the rope is pulled the bell rings. When the rope is let go the bell continues to ring for a while but the tone gets lighter and lighter with each passing moment. Forgiveness is letting the bell rope go. After letting go, your emotions will continue to hear the ringing of the bell (the hurt) but eventually the ringing subsides and stops. Lack of forgiveness is continuing to pull the rope consciously and unconsciously. 

Make your mind up to no longer allow that incident to prevent the growth of your life by letting the rope go and never picking it up again. Gandhi said it this way, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Be strong!

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