Dis/180 is a force that can take a calm situation and turn it upside down. Dis/180 is a 180 degree turn on honesty. We might call it dishonesty. We often view it in the form of lying, cheating, stealing, or breaking trust in some form or fashion. Dishonesty wants to do more than flip our lives, it wants to take over and kill all productive life as it should be. It's like a weed in a garden, hard to kill and always on the comeback. The only defense against dishonesty is applied truth.
3 Applications of Truth
1. Comprehend - For most of us dishonesty was something we started doing as a child. It might have been in the form of trying to say something different than the truth to lighten the potential consequences we faced. Dishonesty is a negative attribute that's been within us from the beginning. It's the weed that we didn't plant and unless managed and contained it will reek havoc in our life gardens.
Viewing dishonest choices as bad is something you must cultivate into your thinking. Dishonesty is not only bad but has far greater detrimental consequences than the truth. Fight dishonesty daily by understanding the corroding effects it has on your life - it tears down trust in those around you and it causes your successes (if any) to be short lived. Be conscious about the effects of dishonesty and make daily decisions to resist its hold with honesty.
2. Open – I recall a time when I was dating my wife getting some advice from my grandmother. I asked her, "What was one thing that would help us have a successful relationship as a couple?" She replied, "Baby, make sure you put it all on the table.” She was implying, that to have a successful relationship we always needed to keep the real things before us and out in the open. The same is true for us today. To obtain the success that we want for our lives, our careers, our relationships, etc. we must be willing to keep the real thing out in the open. Always be honest!
Be open in dealing with dishonesty in your life. If there is unresolved issues in your past, work to make them right. If it is impossible to make them right, take on the mind-set that you were wrong then but your desire now is to do what's right. Honesty is tough and requires a lot of humility but it's the only thing that will stop the 180 degree turn of dishonesty in your life.
3. Timing – When we have been dishonest for a while, our friends and associates probably won’t believe us when we first start to be honest. Therefore, it is good to spend time working at being honest within ourselves first so our honesty can be seen rather than heard.
Proper timing is key for turning around a 180 degree turn of dishonesty. A quick turn can be detrimental and a slow turn can be chaotic. Here are three tips to being timely with honesty : 1) Gather honest facts and know the real reasons for why you are doing what you do (have no hidden motives), 2) Calculate and commit to the cost to be paid (be willing to accept all responsibility and consequences good or bad), 3) Be openly honest to mess ups; however, be willing to keep trying for success (success is failure turned inside out - don't quit with setbacks.) Make a full turn against dishonesty with timing spent honesty.
Summary - You are the only one that can change the 180 degree turn of dishonesty in your life. Make your turn towards being honest everyday by: comprehending the benefits of honesty vs dishonesty, by being openly honest on the onset of your interactions and being honest with timely reasons. True success is only found in being honest.
There is a factor that makes our lives succeed when implemented or fail when we try to avoid it. This factor can causes us to have balance when embraced or be unstable when shunned. This factor is so essential to our lives that regardless of our accepting it or denying it, it still impacts our lives with its attributes. This undeniable factor is TRUTH.
Truth is simply the absolute status or condition of a matter. In other words, it is the real thing. It doesn't change because of opinions, feelings, emotions or circumstances. Truth is consistent all around, it's like gravity - it will always keep you grounded. When we accept truth as our final definer we are considered honest.
3 "U" Factor Points
1. Make A Decision - "Whether we believe we can do something or we can't do something, we are probably right." says Henry Ford. To accept the truth as the final definer can be tough especially when all odds are against us. However, to be the honest person we believe we can be, means that we accept "truth" as the only way to go. This belief is where our long term success resides.
Each day you might be facing some tough situations that make you feel that a lie would make it easier. But I want to challenge you to think about the long term effects of a lie before you act on it. I recall a personal situation I had with a friend. I struggled to be honest about something that had happen. I really felt that a lie would keep me from ruining my reputation and my friendship. But I had made a decision to tell the truth despite the outcome because truth pushes for what's right. With my friend, I told the truth and they were not happy about what had happen but could respect me because I was honest about it. My reputation with that person was confirmed through deciding to be honest in a tough situation. Our relationship has gotten better and has lasted for years because I decided to be honest. You too can be an honest person. Make your decision and push daily to a-line your mind, words and actions to match.
2. Be Real - Being real means that we are honest with ourselves first and then with others. Realness happens when we allow the truth to put us where we need to be before we work to put others in their place. Realness works to keep the truth in front when dealing with feelings, circumstances, problems, etc.
Be real and stay humble even when you might be working with sensitive people. When feelings are on the line, I would suggest prefacing the truth with lead statements like: "I hope this comes out right...", "I don't know how else to say this but...", or "I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings..." These statements can help the receiver know your intent is not to hurt them but to be honest and let them know the truth in love. Look for ways to be honest and loving at the same time. Work to be real each and everyday by allowing the truth to be your leading force.
3. Stand Firm - Being unmovable on what's true is not always easy but trying to be unmovable on a lie is impossible. A good foundation (truth) can support much weight and can last for years but a weak shaky foundation (lie) will always need adjusting and fixing.
Work to keep your mind focused on the long term rewards of being honest. This can help you stand firm on the truth during chaotic times. A great writer said, "The race is not given to the swift nor the strong but the one that endures to the end." So the question arises, "What will give me the endurance I need to make it to the end?" The only thing that will get you there is solid truth because it will not change. Continue to stand firm by building your life each day on truth; it will be with you for the long haul, until the end.
Allow the life changing factor (TRUTH) to impact your life by making a decision to accept it, be real when dealing with yourself and others, and standing firm on its unshakable foundation. Your life can be successful when you operate with the "Undeniable Factor" in place.
Are we struggling to reach our goals and dreams? If so we are in a great place. It's a great place because reaching a new level of greatness will only come from going through the struggle with a focused mind set that's greater than the challenge that's before us. A great writer said, "Great strength is gained from great struggles." It is not the struggles that make us successful but it's making it through the struggles successfully that helps develop the skills which prepares us for the new level of success.
3 Points of Struggles
1. Foundational Purpose – In the mist of our struggles it is important to be certain about the reasons "why" we are on our journey. Our "why's" should be big enough to draw us through any struggles we may face. (This foundational purpose should ultimately come from our Creator. He created us for a specific reason. Finding that reason is key to overcoming our struggles.) Other purposes can come from our children, careers, spouses and so on. Anyone or anything that adds value to our lives could give us reasons to get up and do something. All of our purposes, be they big or small, should reflect our foundational purpose. Find your foundational purpose - this should be very specific and concise not a general statement or thought. (Ex. Not - "I want to help people." But something like this - "I enjoy helping others have hope and a future by living their lives with a clear purpose. So, each day I strive to learn how to be more purposeful, to live each day with greater purpose and teach others how to live purposefully lives.") Your foundational purpose should be something that drives you from within. It's the reason you were born. Once established commit to it and stick to seeing it through till the end. A-line all of your goals and dreams to reflect your foundational purpose. Review it often especially during the struggling times of life. Put reminders up (apps, pictures, quotes, books, etc.) to help you focus on your reasons "why" you must never give up.
2. Understand – When positioned correctly, our struggles could have a lot of significance in developing our future successes. A great saying says, “In all the things we aspire to get, we should first go after understanding”. In other words, even in the mist of our struggles we should go after gaining a better understanding first before we seek to get out of it. There are opportunities to learn and understand things differently in every struggle. In the game of football, a team looks forward to their struggles (opponents). A team could spends hours studying how to overcome their struggle. Once they gain an understanding of what they are up against and come up with the plan to overcome they race to the field to defeat the opponent instead of running away with avoidance.
Seek to better understand your struggles, by studying the reasons"why" they might be in your life. Develop your game plan as to how you want to overcome. Your struggles will not go away by avoiding them. They will only get smaller by confronting them with a clear understanding.
3. Time-out - The constant hitting of struggles, can be overwhelming. So much so that taking a break doesn't seem possible. But to survive through your struggles you must come up for air. Steven Covey worded it like this about breaks in the mist of the daily grind, "Take time to sharpen the saw, it will save you time and energy in the long run."
If not physically, take some time to remove yourself mentally during struggles. It could mean walking through the neighborhood when its quiet or sitting at home in a quiet place for a minute to clear your head and think about something different. When I'm in a struggle it helps me to read encouraging things to keep me focused on the positive outcome I desire over the negativity I see around me. Take time out to sharpen the inner you to overcome your struggles.
Summary - In the mist of struggles assess your foundational purpose, seek to understand the reasons "why" and take a daily time-out to refocus your thoughts. Stay focused and you can be an over comer of any struggle you face!
A great writer once said, "We are strong because we know our weaknesses. We are beautiful when we appreciate our flaws. We are wise because we learn from our mistakes." The key to focused weaknesses is not evading them but realizing where they are and being able to position them into their proper places. This is a process of managing and controlling our weaknesses. William S. Halsey says, "Our weaknesses could become smaller if we confront them instead of dodging them." Let's learn how to properly confront and manage our weaknesses by keeping them in check.
3 Focused Checks For Weaknesses
1. Acceptance Focused – Albert Einstein said, "Once we know (and accept) our limits we are able to go beyond them." Acknowledging that we have weaknesses in the areas that we need to be strong is a great challenge. However, as long as we deny our weaknesses we are unable to gain healthy growth for our lives.
Acceptance can be translated into the term humility. Being humble is a big step in confronting your weaknesses. Work to identify and accept your true weaknesses. Then be humble about them instead of defensive. Your humility will allow others to help you and put you in a position to receive their strengths.
2. Solution Focused – Each of us were made with a certain amount of limitations and weaknesses. Knowing this is only the first step in gain focus with our weaknesses. Our main focus should be on positioning our weaknesses to be effective in always accomplishing the goals we have before us. Norman Vincent Peale says, "Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution." If we look for the solutions to our weaknesses, I believe we can find them in others. The we can maximize every moment as a collective team.
Work to confront and solve your weaknesses within yourself first. This is what the old saying says, "To thine self be true." This might take some time but the process will help you gain a better understanding of the true weakness within. You might find out that your weaknesses could be just a lack of discipline and development of skills. If you find that you are unable to solve your weakness, then reach out to someone who has the strengths you lack. Together work to overcome the weaknesses. (Be careful in selecting these individuals because they can backfire on the plan. Someone that knows your weakness can also cause you to fail greatly.)
3. Forward Focused – Rick Warren said, “The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success is today’s success” When we have overcome one area of weakness we must not think that there are no others. Life is a continuous journey and it is impossible to be strong in all areas at all times. Keep a forward focus about the future and the potential weaknesses that may arise.
Each day will bring out new weaknesses. Expect to overcome not to be overcome. Your long term success is in your consistency to overcome weaknesses everyday with expectation of daily success.
Keep pushing to focus on accepting your weaknesses, solving your weaknesses with help from others and looking ahead for potential weak spots to have back up. Implementing these areas can help you overcome your weaknesses and live an effective life towards success.