It is hard to have respect for someone that you have issues with. But to allow those problems to not be resolved is leaving a mess that will fester and grow. Where do our conflicts go that we don’t like addressing? Unresolved messes, produces more messes and new messes attach to old messes. So how do we clean up a messy situation that is loaded with people that we don’t respect?
3 Tips to Respectful Cleaning
1. Inward View – I had a car that I would spend hours washing and making shine. It looked good! But on the inside there were some internal issues that were causing the transmission to slip a little. I continued to drive the car as long as it would go, hoping that it could hold out. Eventually the little problem became a big problem and the car could not move. The entire transmission had to be replaced. It was beyond repair. If I had addressed the problem sooner I might have been able to save the extra expense.
In life surface cleaning can be easy. The effort being put in can make things look very good externally but internally things can be slipping and messing up. One way you can see internal slippage is when you see your respect for others drop. If you see yourself disrespecting others you probably have some disrespectful issues on the inside. Take some time to analyze how you respond with others. Work on improving your internal respect for others by having clean positive motives.
2. Short List – I was talking with someone recently who was pushing me to a point of anger and resentment. My respect for them at the time was very low. As the conversation progressed, I felt like I was not being heard and needed to express myself. In expressing my feelings I found myself bringing up old hurts to the present issue. I was not respecting the other person. I was dumping and blaming when I needed to be addressing the current issue only with past experiences being used as a point of reference.
When you are dealing with hurtful things, it is good to have a short list of past hurts for yourself and others. The past viewed negatively can easily bring a need to be dis-respectful. Work to allow the initial feelings of past hurts and resentments to be erased so that you are able to be effective in handling current issues.
3. Add Chemicals – In the kitchen I have noticed that some old messes on the stove require more than elbow grease to remove, they need an additional cleaning agent to help break down the hard messes.
In life there are some hard messes that have been around for a while and are stuck real hard. The chemical of respect is probably far from thought when in the heat of the moment, but if allowed to penetrate it can break a lot of issues down. True respect is not be based on what others do or say; it is based on what you value. Allow your values to affirm what you think, say and do with your hard messes.
Summary - To deal with mess that is loaded with people you don't respect, you must first start with yourself. You are the only person you can change. When self healing starts, self-respect is boosted and in turn respect for others is valued. Increase your respect by searching within yourself, keeping a short list of past messes, and adding the chemical of respect. Allow the present to be a gift that you cherish. Each day is an opportunity be a better person.