I was talking to my friend the other day about some of his past relationships. He was ticked off about the way something had happen between them. I listen to his side and could understand why he was angry. (But, we also know that anger can cause our thinking to be unstable.) I asked him if he had considered the other person's feelings and their side on everything. He responded with a hard, "I don’t want to think about them. They are wrong and that is it." Wow! His attitude was blocking him from trying to get to the truth; and without truth as the guiding factor we tend to go wrong.
Our attitudes produce one of two things - stability or chaos. It is said that our “attitudes determines our altitude”. I like to say our attitudes (the way we view life and handle life) determines where we go and how successful we can be in life.
1. Learn – Our attitude, be it positive or negative, is a learned behavior or view that we have picked up from our parents, friends, teachers, etc. We've possibly heard the statement from relatives, “You act just like your momma/daddy”. When this is said we are probably reflecting the behavior of our parents. The good news is, although we might have learned a negative attitude we can change our attitudes to be positive. Maya Angelou said it this way, "If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it change your attitude."
Break your unwanted habits by learning a new habits. Start to look at people that are effective and successful around you. These are not the ones that try to get all the laughs and/or seem to only want to follow the latest trends, but they are the ones that have positive attitudes, are solid thinkers and are goal oriented most of the time. Learn how to have an attitude for success.
2. Clarify – It is said that, "One’s perception is one’s reality and their reality dictates their attitude". This is true but not the end of the story. One’s perception must have a foundational point that is universal for all. In other words, this universal perception for everyone is rooted in something that does not change from person to person or situation to situation. Whatever this is, it brings clarity to all. What is this? It is Truth. When we all have an objective attitude for what’s true, then we can clarify and work towards the truth in the mist of sensitive feelings and emotions.
Keep in mind that you emotions and feelings can give you information but it should not be your instructions of how to act. When you clarify your attitude to resemble what is true you are able to have an attitude of long term success.
3. Forward – In John Maxwell's book called “Falling Forward” he mentions working to keep a positive attitude in the mist of tough mess ups and challenges. If we make a mistake or fail, we shouldn’t allow our failures to become our last destiny.
You have control of what you do with failure. It's not the end, if you're still here. Take on a positive attitude that can take the worst situation and learn from it. Jessie Jackson made popular the phrase, “Keep hope alive”. Strive daily to work on implementing the attitude of hope – "I’m moving forward and I'm getting better". Go forward from your mistakes. A forward thinking attitude will give you stability in your life.
Summary - Stabilize your life by learning how to have a positive attitude, seeking clarity based on the truth and staying forward focused. Your attitude today will determine your outcome tomorrow.